The Power of Introversion

Kraftisms #6 - Introverts are uniquely qualified to excel at networking. Really.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” —Inigo Montoya

Kraftism of the Week:
Growing Up an Introvert

Me? Shy? Nah… I perform public karaoke at the drop of a hat. I was in a comedy improv troupe back in college. I am a font of “dad jokes.” I know and freely converse with thousands of people, be they in “#thesame300” (those I grew up with in the ad industry) or “#theadtech3000” (the advertising and ad tech leaders of today and tomorrow). I’m a hugger. I spend all day — every day — interacting with people. I’m about as outgoing as they come.

Yes. That’s right. I’m an introvert.

Wait… what? Yes, the Myers Briggs Type Indicator says I’m an introvert — an “INTJ” to be specific. And yet my DISC profile lists my “I” as off the charts. Without going into detailed explanations of what all the personality-describing acronyms stand for or the science (read: pseudo-science) behind the MBTI, DISC, and so many others… those results mean I’m an influential, high-spirited, high-energy, intuitive yet analytical... introvert.

But introversion is not always defined in the stereotypical low-energy hide-in-my-bedroom-from-human-beings way. At its core, being an introvert just means that I expend energy in front of other people and gain it when I’m alone (versus extroverts, who gain energy with others).

Growing up, however, I was the archetypal example of what most people think of when they hear the word introvert. I had fewer friends than I could count on one hand. The extent of my social interaction was playing Dungeons & Dragons… or Gauntlet (a 4-person video game) at the arcade.

And I read. A lot. At home. By myself. Isaac Asimov. JRR Tolkien. Ask me who I wanted to be when I grew up? My answer would have been: Legolas. But even though I was off on my own, I watched everyone and everything around me, always trying to understand what made people tick.

It wasn’t really until high school, long before I took the Myers Briggs test or any one of the half-dozen other systems designed to create deep self-understanding and build interpersonal strategies, that I realized: while being around others exhausted me… I love people. I love getting to know them. I love engaging with them. Most importantly: I love learning from them. And so began a lifelong systematic effort to increase my reservoir of energy to allow me to do so. To focus on the art of networking — and the building of the rich meaningful relationships that networking supports.

Applying the Kraftism:
Introverts and the Art of Networking

There are more introverts in business than you may realize. In fact, at your average industry networking event, there are probably more introverts than extroverts. Think of it like the NFL. Most NFL players are not first-round draft picks. They were not the natural once-in-a-lifetime talent. Sure, they all have natural gifts, but those that make it are the ones who work twice as hard to overcome the fact that they were #2 or #3 and wanted to be #1. The same is true with introverts.

I can’t count the number of networking events I’ve gone to where a group of extroverts network with each other, laughing, drinking, enjoying themselves — but they stay with people they know and don’t work the room.

Introverts, on the other hand, are more likely to work the room with systematic precision. They are more likely to get out of the event what they desire, because they put in the work. This certainly isn’t universal — there are extroverts who network well and introverts who fail miserably, but the very nature of an introvert gives them some key advantages in business, and part of the reason I’m writing this is to encourage you, my fellow introverts, to stand up proud and (not just in a room by yourselves) embrace who you are.

Introverts Create Systems to Operate

Introverts don’t jump into social settings and win. They don’t have the natural energy influx that helps feed a trial-and-error path to success. In order to make business networking work, introverts create rules for themselves. Processes. Procedures that let them operate and overcome the natural tendency to avoid situations that expend energy.

“Picking your Number.” To this day I remember my first large-scale networking event at San Francisco’s Moscone Center. There were easily 500 people in the room… and the idea of having to go around the room was incredibly daunting. So I picked a number right there on the spot: 100. I was not leaving that room until I shook hands with or hugged 100 people. It didn’t matter who those 100 were. It didn’t matter if they were apropos to what I wanted to accomplish or not. When I hit 100, I gave myself permission to leave. And so I began. Person by person. What made it a powerful tool for me is that as I ticked down on my number, I actually found myself more and more excited to shake hands with the next person, as each person got me one step closer to being able to escape. I no longer need to use this tool today… but it’s what made me who I am in a crowd of people: willing, able, and excited to meet the next person.

Introverts Study Systems of People

When in large groups of people, introverts naturally try to make sense of the cacophony around them. We study, we spot patterns, and we figure out how to use those patterns in ways that we can understand.

“Circling the Room” — Every room has a natural directional flow. People meet-and-greet and then step on to the next person in a particular direction (usually clockwise). At one particularly large and crowded CES kickoff event, I realized some time in that I was missing people who I knew were at the event. I had worked the room two times in one direction… so I reversed and began working the room in the other direction in order to interact with all the people heading in the same direction I had been.

“Finding the Spot” — At an IAB ALM conference, I stumbled upon the ultimate piece of networking advice. The conference was in Palm Springs, which meant there were limited planes flying in. I happened to be sitting in the lobby area near the hotel check-in area, and sure enough… each hour, a group of about 100 people showed up, all within 15 minutes of each other, having all come on the same plane. So I got up and worked the check-in line, hugging people I knew, introducing myself (or getting introduced) to people I didn’t. When the line was done, I went and got a drink… and got back in time for the next plane. I could have left right there, as I had accomplished all that I sought to do before the conference had even started! Just by finding the right spot that everyone had to go through.

But Wait… Are Extroverts Doomed?

No. Of course not. Extroverts are the first-round draft picks. You often don’t have to do the same sort of systematic work as introverts because you have the energy to power through and figure things out on your own. But when you do take the time to make sure you meet everyone (not just fellow extroverts whom you already know), when you circle the room in both directions, find the right spot, and even pick your number, you still have that advantage… your number can be higher because you have the energy.

Meanwhile we introverts spend a lot of our time working to increase the size of our inner reservoirs so that we are indistinguishable from extroverts. We push ourselves. We close down the bar because we’ve taken careful measure of our energy along the way. And then we go to bed and go to sleep, exhausted… but fulfilled.

Because either way, as an introvert or extrovert, networking is about connecting to others and starting (or reviving) real relationships that help us in business… and in every aspect of life. It’s worth the work to do it right.

Andrew

(Note: The graphic above was made utilizing ChatGPT Plus - One of the things I’m learning in this Tour is the value of when to use AI, when not to use AI, and the importance of calling out when I do.)